This is a honest account of events. It's not my intention to do anything other than tell the truth. If you decide that it's too unlikely to have occurred - maybe it is, but I am simply telling you the events from my perspective, and perhaps that is wrong or unlikely, but I hope you will forgive me in merely attaining to be truthful.

Some background. I found that only 2 events in my life qualified to be unusual, or I think they were unusual. The first was the small but undocumented discovery I made at Harris St, and the second were the circumstances surrounding the famous photo with Ansett. Of either of these, without question, the most unusual event was the photo with Ansett. I don't think I can put a monetary value on it.

If I could have documented the "task-building" discovery at Harris St, I think it would have had some moderate success as a programming theory. Of course, to any outside observer, that might seem strange, but once again, truthfulness. As a programming theory, which I call "scaffolding", built up into so-called "logic files", it was viable. Even further, if I could have documented the theory from a perspective of scientific modelling (using programs to model and predict scientific phenomena), it would have had even more success. However, as these things tend to go, neither of these things occurred. Before I ever finished my first C program under this method, I was derailed (probably) due to my own stupidity.

I had also been attempting to build a website, a "laddering" website where people could start gaming matches, supposed to be an "all-inclusive" gaming match and tournament experience backed up with custom forums, chat, comments and so on. I finished a single version (the alpha) - and this version was severely limited due to a bit of poor design.

For reasons I can't go into right now, I am now firmly opposed to the experiences I had, mainly because they were nurtured in by the wrong influences.

Back to the photo with Ansett. This would have been between 1991 and 1993. I am not sure of the exact date. It was the air route from Melbourne (Tullamarine) to Launceston Airport. To describe the photo in words is probably close to impossible. I'm still not even sure why it happened, but I would (naively, possibly) put it down to a convergence of circumstances.

It has sparked a life-long interest in how we got here. I've always been interested in the question. Religious apologists and nutters have never satisfied a proper explanation. I've felt that religion is fundamentally dishonest, because it doesn't describe the real world. We are so extraordinarily lucky to be here. I've always believed in cultivating wonder - not the world of looking forward to the next car, the next job, or the next smartphone but the world of looking up and seeing how small we are amidst something gigantic, where all the old questions remain unanswered. Reality is a "kind" of magic. We should ask the question of how we got here. Because that we are alive is simply astonishing.

Darwins "On The Origin Of Species" comes some way to answering certain questions, particularly regarding natural selection. Before then, the Old and New Testaments were revered as having the answers, and in fact, if you wanted to stay alive in such a world, you had better have been a believer.

But we don't need antiquated texts to understand the world now. As someone put it, after Darwin we have an explanation for how animals and humans came to be. We don't need to rely on mystical texts to tell us. The answer is in Darwin. However, it only applies to life on Earth - for cosmological evolution, and for the beginning of the universe, we need other answers.

What *really* began the universe? I strongly believe (but do not have the evidence for) the idea that there probably were other universes previous to this one, a universe in which certain things may have been different, but which are now lost to a distant memory. But how did it all start? Again, we are simply so stupendously lucky to be here.

I was born in Cooma on 23rd April, 1986 to my father, John, a surveyor, and my mother, Cindy, a housekeeper. My first memory was probably of a house in Berridale (where we lived then) which we stayed at briefly, then moved to another house, 11 Cecil St. Among my first memories was of my mother teaching me to drive - she had me on her lap at the end of the street and let me steer the wheel to turn the corner. Another memory, an old man who lived up or down the street from us, who had two movies, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and the cartoon Pinocchio. They were my first introduction to actual movies. I recently discovered through old VHS tapes that every six months from August 1988 we would travel to Sydney to St. Gabriels, a school for the deaf, where teachers would cover their mouths (so that I would not rely on lip reading). My speech appeared to be quite fluent and intelligible at that age.

Across the road from us at Cecil St were our neighbors, John and Val Wallace (now both deceased). Val was a jolly old woman, who used to hug me vigorously and rock me side to side. Also down the street from us was Jessie Evans, and her mother Kerry. I used to hang out with her quite often. Also Peter Maxwell, son of Jo Maxwell.

When I was about 1 and a half years old my Grandma and Grandpa visited, the only time I ever saw them. Grandpa died in 1990 and Grandma also, not far behind but don't remember exactly when. My father in those days worked for the Snowy Monaro Shire Council as a surveyor, I believe he worked on the Skitube near Perisher, and other projects. I don't have many memories of my mother. She was (I am told) sometimes ill mentally. During those years we travelled to Tasmania, from Melbourne Tullamarine to Launceston Airport. My Nan and Pop lived in George Town (where they still are now), and we would travel occasionally to meet them at 21 Esplanade North. I distinctly remember the taste of cranberry juice which my Nan served, and she was also an accomplished gardener. I was accompanied by my two cousins, Daniel and Christopher, sons of my Uncle George (Anthony) and Aunty Mandy. I am told Christopher is now deceased.

In 1990 or 1991 we moved from Berridale to Cooma, at 8 Doondoo St in Cooma North. From the age of 5 to 7 years (apologies that I can't remember exactly), we were travelling again to Esplanade North, when *that* photo occurred. What did it feel like for me? It felt like I was seeing the world anew. Razor sharp, reality itself infusing into my soul above the clouds. Of course, without the photo I have no way of explaining to anyone what I mean.

My brother William was born in 1994, and Lindsey followed in 1996. I can't claim I was the best brother particularly, and we would frequently play games in the hallway and outside, but later I felt regret at not having been great to them.

We had some wonderful teachers at primary school, but I have only one real complaint - when I was 12, in 1998, our year 6 teacher Margaret Watt would put fancy, dumbed down, colorful displays in our classroom which, I regret to say, were more appropriate for a kindergarten or year 2 class. At that age you have to be stimulated by less and less simple things. No offence to Marg Watt, who was otherwise an excellent teacher (who I often got into trouble with for saying, when I couldn't understand, "What").

High school was different for me altogether. I still remember my first day, kitted up and walking into the unknown. I did OK academically in Year 7, nothing more than 2 credits at the end of year. Unfortunately, things were going to take a turn for the worse.

At around 13 years and 8 months, my friend Mathew Smith and I were going to the cinema to see the first Star Wars movie (The Phantom Menace). We were sitting in the cinema and 10 minutes into the movie, I suddenly had a heart episode (a "palpitation", possibly). It was so scary that I had to leave the cinema and go downstairs. I phoned my father, and told him I was "scared"). I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, but it was really a heart episode, something I didn't realise until later. I was given some papers to work on to work through the anxiety, which helped.

High school, post anxiety disorder, was a negative experience. I was bullied verbally by a couple of people, but never physically. I never really felt like I "belonged". I always felt invisible. I did very poorly academically. In Year 10, 2002, I missed an entire year of school to do distance education. I say "do", because really I did nothing. I just played computer games. In 2001 I had been introduced to Starsiege: Tribes, a multiplayer PC game. It took up an enormous amount of time, and I was frequently playing this instead of doing schoolwork.

In short, I didn't really know what I was doing at high school. My assistant principal Murray Campbell (sp?), the modern history teacher, once pulled me into his office and yelled at me for having "nothing" in my workbook. He was trying to put me on the straight and narrow. Another teacher, although I cannot remember her name, used to scream at the class (even the class clowns were afraid of her) and this motivated me properly on a couple of occasions.

In 2004 I left high school prematurely, halfway through year 12, having only done a couple of HSC exams. Campbell was not impressed. I had also become somewhat religious, subscribing to the local Uniting Church (although I would probably describe myself more accurately as being fundamentalist, which the Uniting Church is arguably not). In 2005 I started TAFE doing a Cert 4 in IT (Client Support), which was really not anything to do with client support but actually just a course in how to make business documents formatted in Word. I met with David Ford, who went to the same church as me, for lunch on occasion. Later Ford was charged with sexual offenses, I'm not aware exactly what kind, and made the local newspaper. It was unfortunate because I had trusted him, but he had clearly betrayed that trust with a few people. I was lucky to come away unscathed compared to those other people.

I finished the IT course the following year, in early 2006. In Feb 2006 I was hired by Paxus (in St Leonards) as a resourcer - which was really only data entry. I had a few problems with anxiety at work - I tried resolving that by attending Toastmasters, which didn't really help, but I didn't attend for long anyway. I stayed at different hotels during the year, including Carabella Hotel in Kiribilli, ate out, even went to the local Uniting Church there - but ultimately I was unhappy there (due to depression possibly) - and I left in November. One good thing to come from that was I got a reference from Richard, the general manager - for a major IT recruiter, which was a real step in the door for me, one I never capitalised on, to great shame.

In 2007 I was back in Cooma. I had read Robert Hinde's excellent Why Gods Persist, and then I stumbled upon Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion. Both books cemented my path towards becoming an atheist. Now that I think back on it, it was a positive move, because ultimately a lot of the things in the Bible did not reflect the reality of the world I was living in. It doesn't take long after reading several different verses that it was completely out of touch with the way things really were. One thing that stuck in my head (among others) was the notion that this book had really been written by ancient tribesmen, not a divine power, and that therefore pretty much anything they said could not be true. Maybe the notion of God exists in some "fundamental" particle that we haven't yet discovered that contributed to the Big Bang, but then that would be a different story to the kind of God that answers prayers, assigned parking spots and so on.

In 2008 Dad had just gotten back from America, and I asked to come back home. I had had a few problems with depression and anxiety, but I think he wanted me to get on with things. In February 2011 I was taken to Chisholm Ross in Goulburn, after Dad and I had been in a bit of an altercation (don't worry, we're good friends now). The AMO released me 3 days later. When I got back, I moved into a house in Harris St with my mother. My mother and I had had a dispute, so I moved again in September to 5 Short St. I was well into software programming as a hobby by that time, but some factors prevented me from doing everything I wanted, and in April 2013 I left for Queanbeyan.

In early March 2014 I was arrested by police for trying to "hijack" a passenger bus going back to Queanbeyan from Canberra. It's a hard thing to talk about, but ultimately I was taken to a mental health unit (the Canberra Hospital "AMHU"). The police pressed charges, but it didn't go on my record. As a result since then I have been on a "de facto" PTO, or psychiatric treatment order, which means I have to take medication and attend medical appointments. As a result my "physical" health has declined, to the expense of my so-called "mental" health. I have not been able to physically exercise (technically, I have, but not to any meaningful extent) - because the meds do have an effect on your physical wellbeing and do affect you physically to a significant extent. Work has been hard because, firstly, the meds affect sleep patterns so it would be difficult to turn up on time, secondly, they affect you cognitively, meaning things that were easier before are harder now, thirdly because my anxiety levels are greater, meaning it would be harder to perform well at work. Study is in theory possible, but more difficult than before.

Since 2015 I've lived in a house in Ainslie (in Canberra), but have had ongoing health problems. I struggle with the idea of obtaining employment. Same goes for exercising and studying something useful. I would love to be able to contribute back to the world in some way, but right now it's not really on the cards, for the reasons I mentioned just then. I've had ongoing problems with my heart, but don't know where those problems are coming from - I suspect the medication I'm on. Most of the time I'm at Tyson St (Ainslie) playing Tribes, or back in Cooma hanging with the family. It's been difficult getting here. At this stage I'm just happy to get through each week, just because of the heart problems. I enjoy going for walks in Cooma, having a BBQ, listening to music and just generally hanging out with Dad and my brothers. I'm frequently on Facebook and the internet in general, trying to look up stuff, using Netflix and Amazon Prime streaming and all that sort of thing, like everyone else, but it's not been easy.

Richard Dawkins is a wonderful man. I highly respect him for his contributions to the public understanding of science. He has an excellect memory as detailed in his biographies. I'm not sure I can be as detailed as him, but I will try. He believes in the truth as I do. He understands that there is no God, and evolution is the primary reason life exists. Unfortunately we do not understand cosmic evolution yet, just evolution of life on Earth (natural selection). It is a very difficult and highly, highly complicated topic. Perhaps our astrophysicists will understand cosmic evolution later. Lawrence Krauss is a physicist (also a staunch atheist) who writes about physics matters and he probably has a better idea of it than we do.

I have schizophrenia which means I'm cognitively impaired (not intellectually challenged). I must find a way around the fear I'm feeling.